USCIS Appointment

    Hello dear readers!

   It seems that now that the stress of my USCIS appointment is finally gone, I am back in the mood of writing. 

   So, first off, the appointment. After having to put together I'd say about 100 emails and letters (in chronological order too!) and also about 60 pictures, many copies of all the paperwork we ever submitted, and also copies of our original documents( birth, marriage certificates, passports, and others) the big day of the appointment finally came. 

   So we packed the car with lots of CDs (because I never really got put ALL the music we have on our computer and than iPod), a book each, and of course my knitting project, we hugged  our pets goodbye hoping they won't completely ruin the place while we're gone, and off we were.

     The strong winds and on/off rain added to the darkness, but we didn't get lost, in spite of bad mapquest directions. (After it said we should just stick to NC-24 and our next road would be our own, we had to take about 3 more turns that were not included). 

     We got to the hotel, checked it, and crashed after watching a little NCIS, a family favorite. We set the alarms, Seth's phone, my phone (even though I was having some battery issues), and also the hotel alarm clock, none of which went off in the morning. So I wake up at 7, after dreaming of being late, and realize we slept in for an extra half an hour. We still had plenty of time to get ready, because the USCIS place was just a few minutes away, and we already knew how to get to it from previous visits, but it was still scary to wake up later than planned.

     We got there at eight and we waited. And waited. No cell phones allowed, and no clocks on the walls. When we were called in, we found out it was 9:45. We were out by 9:55. It went fast and easy, and with no troubleshooting. I did have all the paperwork i needed, and the man only asked for a sample of our emails and letters, even though all the ones that we had WERE a sample. He took a look at our pictures, asked some questions and before we knew it we were told I should get my Green Card in two to four weeks. AWESOME! Oh, and I got my name changed too. Good thing I asked, the man just put a line over my Constantin name and wrote HEINLE in big red letters. So now my paperwork will be for Mrs Adina Daniela Heinle. 

     After we left we went to Subway to grab some brunch, since we didn't have time for any breakfast and we wouldn't be home at lunchtime. We got home, almost got lost because of incomplete Mapquest directions, and crashed again. After just 4-5 hours of sleep the previous night (im too used to my amazing pillow--Thanks Matt and Rushi!), all I wanted was to get home to my puppy.

    I was surprised to see that no damage was done to our home, and that the pets behaved very well. Nothing was torn apart, chewed on, or broken. Maybe they just slept the whole time we were gone, as they usually do. It took Suki about an hour before her excitement that Mami and Daddy are home went off. After many hugs and belly scratching, she finally settled down between Seth and I in our bed, and I could just hear her sigh with happiness. We didn't forget about her, and we did come back! Johnny Cash had a very "I just woke up and didn't even realize you were gone all night" attitude. We love you too, Johnny!

     Now I have to wait for my Green Card to come, and I have to start studying so I can get my drivers license! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! Hopefully I won't go completely insane before than!. 

    I'm off to my chores now. 

   

Halloween is coming...

Today my beloved hubby came home close to midnight because he had to fly. Nothing unusual in that. As always Suki and I went outside to greet him. After running around for a little bit we noticed Suki was scared and trying to sniff something that was moving. 

    Than we saw it. The big, ugly spider that our dear dog was trying to eat, or play with. Seth killed it, of course. Maybe I should get it stuffed, mounted and hang it over the door , for the other spiders to know they are NOT welcome

. That's a regular size house key, and that's how big the monster is! The World is a better place now, one less ugly, yucky spider in it. 

Mm Good!

   This is what I've been up to lately... Seth's very long scarf, and baking bread. Its the first time I made bread, even though I;ve had the bread machine since the wedding (it was a wedding present from my sistah Anda). 

    Seth's scarf is actually pretty wide too, but it curls up ( by demand). Seth wore it all weekend long, even though it wasn't that cold! I'm just happy he likes it!!  :) 

     I've also started printing out all the emails Seth and I ever wrote to each other, for the interview we have with USCIS soon. I also have to print out pictures, and a lot of them too! Apparently, the more you bring, the better...  Its fun going down memory lane to read some of our old emails... They still put a big big smile on my face... And I haven't even gotten past the "We're just friends" emails. 

     I've started a new scarf now, for my mother. I need to put a Christmas package together for her, and if I want it to get there on time, I have to move fast, especially with the scarf. 

     Now I have to go make some food to go with that yummy bread I've made :) 

I love my MacBook!

   I really do. In fact, I only got this blog so I would have yet another excuse to type on my lovely laptop. I really like it. I hope we will never have to go back to a PC. We've had it for 10 months, and no viruses, trojans, or troubleshooting. Its so beautiful! Not having to worry about any of that ugly stuff, after years and years of begging my friends to come fix my PC, to reinstall Windows, and to clean it from all the evil viruses out there. 10 months and not a thing. Just a software update every now and than, but that's nothing to complain about.

      It took a little getting used to, and I still need to learn how to work some of the programs on it, but we LOVE Garage Band and iPhoto. Its so much fun!

    So, people, start saving, and get yourselves a Mac! Why settle for anything else? 

  

3 Months

     We have three months until my husband will get deployed. This will be our first deployment. He will be gone from January until the end of July. 

      I am trying to be brave, and not think about it until we actually have to deal with it. But we already started talking about the arrangements we need to make before he leaves. I will go stay with his family, and when he gets back he will hopefully be able to take a few weeks off so we can move everything back and so we can spend some time together, and also with his family. 

      All this talk makes me sad. I am excited for him, he gets to go to Africa, see new things and experience new cultures.  Plus, Africa is supposed to be a little safer than Iraq or Afghanistan. Hopefully we will be able to communicate often. And we're used to being away from each other... I mean, for the past two years we only saw each other every six months or so, and just for two or three weeks at a time. This time its different. It will be harder, because we are now used to seeing each other day after day after day, and spending time together, but it will hopefully be a little easier because now we are married, and when he comes back, it will be another year or two until he has to go again. 

       We have been married for 9 months now, and I got to see him every single day! The happiest 9 months of my life! 

         I will stay positive about this deployment. I hope I will have my drivers license by the time he leaves. 

    I have to go work on his scarf, still. I have been busy doing things around the house so I didn't have too much time to knit. I am also praying that my birth certificate won't get lost in the mail, since i need it for my USCIS interview at the end of October. 

      I will come back with pictures of Seth wearing the scarf, hopefully soon.  

This week...

    Here's the things I learned/experienced this week:

• My hubby loves veeeeerry long scarfs.
• my cat attacks my dog when i put her in the kennel
• it feels good to sit down and make a plan
• i love knitting
• i love Transformers, and can't wait for when they come out with the next one!
• I enjoy watching guy movies with my hubby as long as i can knit/crochet
• my next project will be learning how to make a hat for Seth to pair with the scarf.
• its great to have goals in life!
• sometimes it can be life-saving to watch the weather
• I will never get used to tornado warnings
• a storm did more damage here than hurricane Hanna.
• I don't want to die. Not because Im scared, but because I know how hard it is to lose someone and I don't want my loved ones to go through this
• its good to save receipts, for returning things.
• my recent passion for knitting has affected my reading.
• This game made me realize that im not good at building things, but im good at making them work.
• headaches haunted me almost every day this week. no fun!
• my cat loves to play with my knitting needles.

                 We were up late last night keeping an eye on the weather, after having a tornado warning. Up until last night I wasn't sure why I am so scared of dying, when I know I am going to heaven. And while talking to Seth last night I realized that I am not scared of dying, I am scared of the things that come before death so many times....the pain, the illness, the suffering. I am a little scared of that, maybe because I've seen so much of it so early in life. I am not scared of dying, I am scared of how it will affect those that love me. My husband, my mom, my sister and everyone else that loves me... It took me four years to recover from my daddy's death, and I still have my bad moments...

           On a happier note, my hubby and I will soon celebrate 9 months since our wedding day. Wow, 9 months! If we would've had a honeymoon baby, I would get ready to go in labor soon! Luckily there is no need to worry about that, since Im not pregnant. These have been the best days of my life.  I don't know why people say the first year is the hardest one. It was very happy and sweet for us, probably because we knew each other so well before we got married, and because we both feel that there is nothing worth fighting over. I try to make my hubby as happy as I can, and I do my best for him to be eager to come home to me every day, and to miss me while he is at work, as I miss him. 

            I hope the weather will clear soon.... I can't wait for snow to come, and no more tornadoes and hurricanes!

Latest news..

   

     I don't really have many news since my last entry. I started knitting a scarf for Seth, and he loves it! I chose a soft yarn, and he wants it extra long, so I still have some work to do on it. I'm not sure what my next project will be. I will either start knitting a scarf for me, since I already have some pretty pink yarn, or I will get started on a red-and-green afghan. My knitting and crocheting knowledge is very limited, so if there is anyone out there that is willing to teach me a few more things, like how to change colors in the right way, or how to increase and decrease and make flowers and things like that, I will take all the help I can get. 

      We are thinking about moving... Even though I LOVE the idea of living in more than one room, and having a washer, dryer and dishwasher, I am a little concerned about the finances. I mean, we are already on the list for base housing, and here we pay very small rent with all utilities included, and we are on a monthly rental contract. So these are the main things that make me want to stay here. Oh, and the fact that with some money invested in more shelves and maybe another dresser we would have enough space for all our things.

      If we move, we would have to add an extra $500 to the housing expenses, at least, because rent would be more expensive, and the chances of having another house with the utilities included in the rent are minimal.  So, we will see.

       My mother and our friends are not coming anymore. I was very sad to hear that... I haven't seen my mom in 9 months, and I don't know when I will see her again. We were both very disappointed.  I wish she was here to teach me how to crochet and knit more interestingly. 

       I will let you know what my next project will be once I make up my mind.

       

Rainy Day...

     Today I miss my father. Well, I miss my father every day, but today more than usual. Its a rainy day, with thunderstorms coming and going, and they remind me of my daddy. He loved storms because he could see God's power in them. 

     I was the happiest little girl. I loved my father more than I can express in words. He was my priest and pastor, my best friend, my daddy, my protector, my play mate , my provider... I loved him, and I loved being his daughter. 

     I got many things from him.... my hands and my short neck, my faith, my love for office/school supplies, my love for God... He taught me how to read, and gave me money for every page I read from the Bible, even before I was in school. I loved to make him proud of me. I would go to church with him every time, and we always had a little agreement that I would stay outside and play with the other kids from church during the sermon. I was supposed to come back inside as soon as I heard the choir or orchestra singing, meaning that the sermon was over, and I always did.

        He used to tuck me in bed every night, and the usual bedtime story (especially in the winter) was that of him growing up, and how one winter it snowed so much they had to dig up tunnels in the snow so they can go from one place to another, and how some other time he was in the house and heard the wolves crying at the moon. He grew up in a village with his grandparents, and he loved it. 

       He took me to the seaside for the first time, but since I had just seen the movie Jaws i did not want to go in the water... Knowing that I would LOVE the water, daddy decided to let me have my picture taken with a monkey on the beach. After I entered the water, he had a hard time getting me out :).

      He LOVED God and the church, and all the people in it, and I loved being the pastor's daughter. I loved knowing everyone in the church, and who is related to whom, and I loved being involved with the kids, than the youth group...

       I used to love to watch him type his diary, than his book at the typewriter. We managed to publish his book while he was still alive. Now we are working on getting it published again, since the Christian Military people in Romania still call and ask for it. We didn't sell it, but we gave it as a present to whoever wanted it. The book is about my father's life, how he became a Christian, than an atheist Communist, than a Christian again, after 20 years of prayers coming from his mother and grandmother. 

       He was the first Protestant Military Chaplain in Romania, and it was not easy to get people to let him form this position, especially in a Orthodox country. He said that since he used to use the Bible to prove soldiers that there is no God, now he wanted to go back and fix that mistake and prove soldiers that God did exist. And he did that the best he could. 

       He loved his family, he was madly in love with his wife and kids. He was a pastor, chaplain, psychologist, retired major, husband, father, friend, and son all this while having leukemia. 

       Other than the last two months of his life, he never spent a day in the hospital. He had to go to check-ups and take some pills, but other than that, no hospital stays. 

      And than when he did get in the hospital, I was there almost every day. I used to spend the night at the hospital, and than leave straight for school, and than stop by at home after school, shower and back to the hospital, where my mom would wait for me so she can leave and get some rest. Most of it was really tough, but I didn't realize it back than. I am so happy to have been there, and to be able to take care of him the way I did. There were days when all the blood tests were so bad doctors were amazed that he was still alive, and daddy would walk around and tell jokes and encourage other patients. And there were other days when all the tests were great, and yet he couldn't even speak, or move...

        There were times when we would stay up late and talk, just us, or sometimes with the nurses, and daddy would tell them stories of when I was a kid, and how much he loved me, and how proud he was of me. 

        And the day he died, I was the last one to talk to him. He called to remind me of something, and I told him I already took care of it. Than he told me he is very proud of me and that he loves me very much. I said I love you too, and we hung up. A minute or two after we hung up he got into a coma, and died later that day. 

         Its been four years and Im still not over it. I don't know when and if I will get over it. I wish there were a textbook on how to grief, or how to get over it.... I wish my soul would just heal and not trick me in thinking that Im healed and than break even more when least expected. I wish I could talk about daddy without crying. I wish the entire world would read his book so that people would know what an amazing man he was, and that I do have a good reason for not getting over it. 

        I love you Daddy, and I miss you so very much!! Come watch the thunderstorms with me, and tell me not to be afraid...

I love you... and I am very proud of you! 

Hanna's Almost Gone

     Hanna visited us last night. We had rain and wind, and from what I hear on TV many people in our town (including a shelter and a hospital) lost power during the night/early morning.

     But God protected us. We prayed and prayed so much yesterday and last night, because I didn't had peace about it. At 10:00PM we had a tornado warning that went on for half an hour. So, again, we prayed that God will keep us, and everyone else, safe and away from any physical or material damage. And after that, the peace coming from our Lord filled me up, and I was even able to sleep some. My sweet, amazing husband stayed up and kept an eye on the weather. I slept so well I didn't even get woken up by the sound of the strong wind and rain against our house. 

     The main thing I learned from this experience is that my life belongs to the Lord, and that peace only comes when I am fully aware of that, and when I trust God with my life. 

      Hanna taught me that whatever may come, God is in control. And even though I knew this before, it was great to be reminded of my Lord's power and love. 

Funny, funny me...

      

     My husband and I celebrated 8 months of marriage on Friday. He got me flowers, and he was away for less than an hour, since he flew the day before, and they were off early on Friday. 

      On Friday night we decided to go out on a date to celebrate the best 8 months of our lives, so we went to Red Lobster... People that know me well have heard all my previous embarrassing experiences falling, tripping and putting myself in awkward situations with no easy way out.

      This time, as we were dining at Red Lobster, we had crab legs. I don't usually like seafood, but sometimes I get in the mood, and I like crab legs. 

     But Friday was not a good day for me. A very dangerous tool was given to me, and crab legs flew all over the place, and crab meat ended up on my beloved husband's face....

      Needless to say we both burst into laughter, and I almost died of embarrassment as people from a table near by were laughing at me. 

And the crab legs didn't even reach them!

   +  =VERY DANGEROUS!!

     Half a crab leg ended up on the floor. No one got hurt, and to my surprise (and relief) nothing ended up in someone's drink. Just the floor and Seth's face. But he got just a piece of meat. The look on his face was priceless. And hillarious! I love my husband, and the fact that he thought it was funny and not embarrassing!

PS. Just our luck, our sweet dog just threw up all over the recently CLEANED part of our carpet. 

Labor Day Adventure

     Labor Day is almost over, but Seth still has tomorrow off! YAY!! Not only because we get to spend an extra full day together, but also because we have some unfinished businesses from today.

    After living in this garage apartment for about 8 months, we decided it was time to clean the carpet. We rented a RugDoctor, and we bought the cleaning solution that goes with it, and after we moved all the furniture off the carpet and into the kitchen area ( I guess this is the advantage of living in a studio apartment), we vacuumed and off we went! After we cleaned about a quarter of the carpet, we were out of the cleaning solution. And since it's Labor Day, everything is closed in our little town. How fun! I am actually a little excited about this, probably just because it's change from the usual daily routine. After we moved the couch and tv and coffee table back on the clean side of the carpet, we managed to work our way to the fridge, so we decided that for tonight we will just camp on the floor, and continue cleaning tomorrow, after we buy some more magic liquid that makes our carpet come back to life. 

       We also have to do laundry tomorrow...yet another "benefit" of living here. After living here for 8 months I became more and more thankful and aware of the luxury I had at my mami's house, with the washer always there and ready to use. I don't really miss having a dryer since the concept of a dryer is still so very new in Romania. Actually, Im not even sure they're selling dryers with washing machines. What's the point in spending money on something the wind and sun can do? I know they do sell dishwashers though. We never had one at our house as I grew up. And I was 7 when we got our first color TV. And I was 14 when we got our first PC. It was still a luxury in Romania. I remember a friend from church gave us a very old laptop, that could barely handle a dial-up connection. 

       But to the 21st Century. Im not sure if my mami and friends will still come here on Thanksgiving. I really hope they do, but their kids still need to get visas to enter the US, and they told me to put every search on hold ( cars rental, a place to stay while here) for now. So we will see. 

       Other than that... I miss home. In Romania, Labor Day is on May 1st, and since it is usually a very nice and warm spring day, most people (especially from Bucharest) go out on a picnic or bbq in the woods, or parks. I miss going out with my friends from church. We would always go out in a park or a special forrest area created for outings like this, where open fires are safe. I always liked to try and guess who went and who didn't (especially when I didn't go) by looking at their skin for mosquito bites. Bug spray is still a new concept in Romania. 

      I spent this evening watching a John and Kate +8 marathon, while Seth watched some manly movies on the computer.  And somewhere in between, we played with Johnny Cash, our cat, with a laser. Suki, our dog, joined the fun, and she got so excited she peed on the newly cleaned carpet. I had to protect her from Seth's wrath. I love our pets, but sometimes they can be a pain. Tonight I realized I would probably not be able to raise sextuplets. I would probably get too overwhelmed and have at least two or three meltdowns a day. Hopefully I won't have to, but even if I do, I am sure God will give me the skills and nerves to do it. 

      The newest news with me is that I am becoming obsessed with the weather. I check the weather online at least once an hour, or every two or three hours, depending on the forecast. If its thunderstorms, even a few times an hour. I dream of the day when we will be able to move into a not so dramatic weather state. Or at least have a basement where we can go and be safe in case of a tornado. I miss my concrete apartment, the nice 4-seasons weather, and not feeling that the weather can be life-threatening. I lived in Bucharest, Romania for 21 years, and the worst thing that can happen there (that is not human produced) is an earthquake. It gets pretty hot in the summers, and most winters we get snow. Spring and autumn are gorgeous, with the nature coming back to life, or changing colors... 

       While I was in college I had all my classes close to a very beautiful park, with a lake and wild ducks ( a very rare sight in Bucharest). My best friend and I would go there every time we had a break or a class got canceled, we would eat yummy Romanian pretzels, have a Coke/water and talk about anything and everything. Sometimes we would just sit quietly on a bench and enjoy the wind and the trees and flowers. It was beautiful. We would also walk through the park every day to classes and back, when it wasn't dark. I miss my friend and our walks in the park very much. 

        I miss home, even though I know it will never be home again, because this garage apartment is now my home. And even though there are days when I wish we would live anywhere else but here, I try to remember that a year or two from now, when we will finally get base housing, or move someplace else, we will think of this place and remember all the amazing memories we have lived here. Plus, this whole experience will make me appreciate having a washer, dryer and dishwasher when we will move and have some. 

        Its sleepy time now... We have to clean the rest of the carpet tomorrow! :) 

Tornado Warning

   Today I didn't start my day very well. I woke up, and there was a thunderstorm outside. Since I check the weather so often, I automatically turned on my computer and checked the weather for our area. A tornado watch was issued , which soon transformed into a tornado warning. Needless to say that I panicked especially since this was my third tornado watch/warning in my lifetime. And all three since I got married and moved to North Carolina. 

    The tornado warning was from 12:45 until 1:15. My husband was at work, and I couldn't reach him to let him know what was going on, so it was just my dog, my cat and I.  At 12:40 God provided me with one of the greatest gifts of all, a friend. My dear friend Gabi, from Romania, heard from my mom that there was a storm here, so she decided to call and see how I am doing. She called me all the way from Romania, just to check up on me. When I heard her voice I just burst into tears and told her that there is a tornado warning here, and not just a storm, and that I am stressed out and I want to go home in Romania, and live in a very safe, tornado-free environment. She stayed on the phone with me until 1:30, long after the worst part of the storm -- and the tornado warning- were gone. Gabi prayed for me while we were talking, and she talked to me about how God takes care of us, and how we need to trust Him, and she just knew to say the right words to encourage me, and help me in this situation. 

     I am amazed at how God took care of me today. Not only that there was no tornado here, but He also gave me a very dear friend of mine and a good, strong Christian to talk to me and encourage me and pray for me and with me. It felt so very good to see God's hand at work in such an obvious way.  The interesting thing is that my mother lost my number and I only gave it to her last week, when she told me about it. And she gave my number to Gabi, who tried to reach me on my husband's phone. That phone call was worth a million dollars. Actually, it was priceless. It wasn't just a phone call, it was God's way of saying "Hey, Im still in charge! I haven't forgotten what you need and when you need it! PUT ME IN CHARGE AGAIN!".  

    And so I thanked God not knowing that another tornado was forming this afternoon. 

      When my husband came home from work, we decided I needed to get out of the house, so we went out, forgot all about the weather and just had a good time!  It was such a blessing to be able to relax and enjoy his company outside the house. We don't get to go out very often. 

       When we returned, we started talking about my tornado experience, and how I need to trust God more. And it turns out that I need to trust God with a whole lot more than just a tornado. The second tornado Im talking about is actually my husband's possible deployment. I keep praying that God will use the fact that I can't have a drivers license yet, and probably won't have for quite a few more months, to keep Seth from going to Africa, or on a boat on deployment for six months. 

        Now, even though up until our wedding day we have never seen each other sooner than every six or seven months, this time is different. This time I am in a foreign country (still is for me), with no friends, and no one to rely on near by. I don't feel that Im a part of the church we go to yet, and Seth is my only friend, and pretty much the only person I know in this town. 

       Plus, now that we've been together for 8 months, and not being away more than one night, I know how amazing it is to be with him day after day.

       Today one of his superiors told him that he will recommend my husband to go on the boat, instead of Africa, just because he is hard working and good at what he's doing. Being on the boat means not knowing if and when we can talk.... Africa has the luxury of daily phone calls or emails. 

       So I cried and we prayed, and we just put God in charge. We gave Him our lives once again, and let Him take over the situation.  I know that God will save the day, and that His will is the best, wether I like it or not. So for now, this tornado is gone, and I have peace. 

      The forecast for tomorrow is filled with thunderstorms, rain, and more thunderstorms. But I trust God, and I trust that He will keep us safe, and I do my best not to worry about it. 

"So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  (Matt. 6:31-34).

Broken Heart

   

   Here is a story I wrote a long time ago... Long before my husband and I started courting.... Let me know what you think.

In my anger and fear I tried to put my broken heart back together by myself, but it looked so bad...too many pieces missing, to many broken dreams... "But how could you lose pieces of your heart?", you may ask. well, at first i was too hurt to admit it was broken. than i was too proud to confess my hurt. and as i continued my walk, pieces of my broken heart fell. i thought they were tears. but when i felt something was missing, it was too late. i already gave parts of my heart , even before it broke. i got them all back...i found one piece in the trash. apparently, the one i gave it too decided it's too ugly. i took it back, i needed it in my desperate try to put my heart back together. "You’re never too ugly for me", i said, and put it safe. Than, as i was walking, i found another piece. No one cared about that certain piece of my heart, so now it was just walking around, looking for some attention. "I'll never ignore you", i cried and picked it up, "i'll never act like i don't know you're there". I was happy...i thought that was all i lost, so now i was trying to do the puzzle. But...there still were pieces missing...so i continued my search, hoping i'll get it all back. Than, as i was walking, i saw a boy playing with a piece of my heart. "what are you doing? can't you see i need my heart back? give it back, i need it!". He looked at me and smiled. Than i understood why he was holding it. "good choice" i said to myself. But than i saw how he decided to break my heart even more than it already was. "you're a great girl", he said, "awesome friend, but i never really loved you anyway. Here, take it back, i don't need it anymore. See, i got another one. I found a girl that was willing to give me more". I took it back mad that i didn't know better. "it's ok, next time, i'll be more careful, i won't give you away to anyone. I'll think well before giving you away again", i said while trying to strengthen up my pieces with my tears...So i kept on walking. Than, when i stopped, i saw another piece of my heart. But it wasn't on fire, like when i gave it away. Now it was all burned out..."what happened?', i cried and ran to the place where what used to be my heart on fire was..."who are you? why did you put out the fire?", i asked the ones standing there, glad they did a good deed. "oh, is this yours? we saw it burning, and we were afraid it might spread to the other hearts around here. there's no danger now. see, it's not even warm anymore". I took what used to be my dreams, my hopes, my beliefs..."what will i do now? i'll never have the same passion again!"......and i cried. i stood there and cried. "where can i go? what can i do?"...and while my tears were falling, i noticed something...the road kept on going. This was not the end. " i have to see the end", i said while i got up and wiped away my tears. "there has to be something, someone to help me get my heart back". So i kept on walking. And than..all of the sudden, i saw it....The Book was there...a big, old dusty book... i read it. and, while reading, i heard a voice saying "i see you have a broken heart". "can you help?" i asked, desperate to end the pain. "yes, i can. but i need your trust. i need you to give it all to me, so i can put it all back together." I got sad, "can't you see it's broken? why do you want it now? it's all gone, all its beauty, all its strength...its all gone...no, i won't trust you...look what happened to my heart...i trusted too much, and that's what got it broken in the first place.". Quiet. No answer. Just a hammer and some nails...a cross..."wait...i think i saw you before...you wanted my heart when it was nice. what happened? how come you still want it now? no one wants a broken heart...". I looked at my heart...it was so different from what it used to be..."all in pieces, it will never look the same again...maybe He really wants my heart, no matter the shape. what do i have to lose anyway?", i said to myself..."here, you can have it. i don't care if you can fix it or not. take it. it's all yours. do whatever you want with it. it used to be so good to have it inside of me...it kept me warm, made me feel human. " He took it. It hurt giving it away. So i started to cry. It was hurting me to know that now i have no heart. I wished i could've start it all all over again...i wanted a second chance..."can you fix it?" i found myself asking. "yes". "but how? i tried to put it back together using my tears, but they weren't good enough. do you have some sort of special glue i should know about?"...no answer...just the nails and the hammer..."Here, it's ready. You can have it back." "Back? But i gave it to you! I only wanted to fix it. See, it's good as new". I looked at it. The glue...it was something new, something i've never seen before..."wait", i said while giving Him back my new heart, "i want you to have it. If you can fix it, i'm sure you can use it better than i did. But...can i stick around and see how You will use it?". I saw His hands while He reached out for my heart...they still had the sign of the nails..."Ask and you shall receive", He said, and we started to walk together, on a new road, with a new heart...

Mami's coming!!!

  On Friday I found out that my mother and a family of 4 friends of mine from Romania will come and spend Thanksgiving week here. Today I spent about 4 hours on Skype with my mother trying to figure out all the details -- renting a beach house for them, what airport to fly in, what to do once they get here, and other things like that. I managed to find a beach house that is beautiful, and I made reservations for them. Its actually cheaper to rent a house than to stay at the hotel. I guess for once living by the ocean pays off. We do not like the beach very much -- we only went two or three times this summer, and it is just 30 minutes away-- mostly because of all the damage the sun can make in a day at the beach. Plus, I don't like the fact that there are so many almost naked people there! All that skin makes me a little uncomfortable. Besides, sharks live in the ocean. A girl got bit by a shark on a beach about an hour away from here, so it only gives me one more reason to stay away from the beach and the water. 

    Anyway, back to my friends and mom coming over! I am soooooo very excited!!  Last time I saw my mother it was a week after Seth and I got married, which is 8 months ago! Our friends, who were also at the wedding, decided to come over for the Black Friday sales, and to bring my mother over with them! It was such a blessed thing to do! Mami and I didn't hope to see each other for another year or two, since I am still waiting for my paperwork from Immigrations to come, and since we're not sure when we will afford to make a trip to Romania. But now she is coming, and even though it is only for a week, we will just stay hugged the entire time!!! 

     My mother is the best. After my dad died 4 years ago, i went from being daddy's little girl, to being a very depressed young woman, to becoming best friends with my mother. And once Seth and I started courting, she was the shoulder to cry on every time my computer broke or the internet was down, or Seth's computer broke, and we were unable to talk. I don't know how well I would've managed the long distance relationship with Seth if it wasn't for mami to be there for me and support me. The best thing of all was that she understood what I was going through. She didn't yell at me or think Im crazy because I woke up at 4 or 5 every morning to be able to talk to Seth for two hours before going to classes all day. Instead, she would wake up to go to work ,and always made time to make me some tea or coffee or breakfast, when I didn't have time to do it myself. She bought me phone cards so I can call Seth when the internet was down, and she never complained  about the phone ringing in the middle of the night, just because Seth wanted to say good night. 

    She was very supportive of our relationship, and it meant the world to me. When Seth came to Romania to visit me and to meet her, she did her best to make sure he had a wonderful time. She cooked, and cleaned and supervised us, and also had her share of fun with us! 

    So now she will be our guest. And I want to make sure she will have a wonderful, amazing , fun week with us. I want this to be filled with good, fun memories. Because we don't know exactly how long it will be until we meet again, so we need to create as many memories as we can, so it will last long. 

    All this talk about my mami made me miss her, and made me miss home. So I will go look for some good plane tickets, just to keep myself from crying. 

    88 days and I get to see MAMI!!!! YAY!! :)

Welcome :)

   Hello World! 

  I finally made it! I gave in and started blogging myself. About what, I am not sure yet. I am sure my random thoughts will make their way out somehow.

   Right now , I am exhausted and yet I cannot sleep just yet. Last night I woke up to find my beloved husband with a fever and a bad cold. The nurse in me immediately came to life, and I gave him Nyquil, made him some tea with lemon and honey, checked his temperature, and made sure he had everything he needed. I tried to put some Vaporub on his chest, but only after he argued with me about how he doesn't like it. After the pills kicked in I stayed awake, just in case he needed me. 

    It felt amazing to be there for him. After two years of long-distance, to finally be able to take care of him when he has a cold is a great blessing for us. 

    Seth went to sleep early, since he has to get up at 5 tomorrow morning, to go to work. Usually its 5:30, but since they're launching 15 planes tomorrow everyone has to be there early. This is the same reason why he had to work on Saturday. But a long-awaited 96 is coming our way next weekend, so he should get plenty of rest than. Also, hopefully, his cold will be gone by than. I am working on it. 

    I will end this here now, Seth's tea is almost ready. But I promise to come back soon.