Tornado Warning

   Today I didn't start my day very well. I woke up, and there was a thunderstorm outside. Since I check the weather so often, I automatically turned on my computer and checked the weather for our area. A tornado watch was issued , which soon transformed into a tornado warning. Needless to say that I panicked especially since this was my third tornado watch/warning in my lifetime. And all three since I got married and moved to North Carolina. 

    The tornado warning was from 12:45 until 1:15. My husband was at work, and I couldn't reach him to let him know what was going on, so it was just my dog, my cat and I.  At 12:40 God provided me with one of the greatest gifts of all, a friend. My dear friend Gabi, from Romania, heard from my mom that there was a storm here, so she decided to call and see how I am doing. She called me all the way from Romania, just to check up on me. When I heard her voice I just burst into tears and told her that there is a tornado warning here, and not just a storm, and that I am stressed out and I want to go home in Romania, and live in a very safe, tornado-free environment. She stayed on the phone with me until 1:30, long after the worst part of the storm -- and the tornado warning- were gone. Gabi prayed for me while we were talking, and she talked to me about how God takes care of us, and how we need to trust Him, and she just knew to say the right words to encourage me, and help me in this situation. 

     I am amazed at how God took care of me today. Not only that there was no tornado here, but He also gave me a very dear friend of mine and a good, strong Christian to talk to me and encourage me and pray for me and with me. It felt so very good to see God's hand at work in such an obvious way.  The interesting thing is that my mother lost my number and I only gave it to her last week, when she told me about it. And she gave my number to Gabi, who tried to reach me on my husband's phone. That phone call was worth a million dollars. Actually, it was priceless. It wasn't just a phone call, it was God's way of saying "Hey, Im still in charge! I haven't forgotten what you need and when you need it! PUT ME IN CHARGE AGAIN!".  

    And so I thanked God not knowing that another tornado was forming this afternoon. 

      When my husband came home from work, we decided I needed to get out of the house, so we went out, forgot all about the weather and just had a good time!  It was such a blessing to be able to relax and enjoy his company outside the house. We don't get to go out very often. 

       When we returned, we started talking about my tornado experience, and how I need to trust God more. And it turns out that I need to trust God with a whole lot more than just a tornado. The second tornado Im talking about is actually my husband's possible deployment. I keep praying that God will use the fact that I can't have a drivers license yet, and probably won't have for quite a few more months, to keep Seth from going to Africa, or on a boat on deployment for six months. 

        Now, even though up until our wedding day we have never seen each other sooner than every six or seven months, this time is different. This time I am in a foreign country (still is for me), with no friends, and no one to rely on near by. I don't feel that Im a part of the church we go to yet, and Seth is my only friend, and pretty much the only person I know in this town. 

       Plus, now that we've been together for 8 months, and not being away more than one night, I know how amazing it is to be with him day after day.

       Today one of his superiors told him that he will recommend my husband to go on the boat, instead of Africa, just because he is hard working and good at what he's doing. Being on the boat means not knowing if and when we can talk.... Africa has the luxury of daily phone calls or emails. 

       So I cried and we prayed, and we just put God in charge. We gave Him our lives once again, and let Him take over the situation.  I know that God will save the day, and that His will is the best, wether I like it or not. So for now, this tornado is gone, and I have peace. 

      The forecast for tomorrow is filled with thunderstorms, rain, and more thunderstorms. But I trust God, and I trust that He will keep us safe, and I do my best not to worry about it. 

"So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  (Matt. 6:31-34).

Broken Heart

   

   Here is a story I wrote a long time ago... Long before my husband and I started courting.... Let me know what you think.

In my anger and fear I tried to put my broken heart back together by myself, but it looked so bad...too many pieces missing, to many broken dreams... "But how could you lose pieces of your heart?", you may ask. well, at first i was too hurt to admit it was broken. than i was too proud to confess my hurt. and as i continued my walk, pieces of my broken heart fell. i thought they were tears. but when i felt something was missing, it was too late. i already gave parts of my heart , even before it broke. i got them all back...i found one piece in the trash. apparently, the one i gave it too decided it's too ugly. i took it back, i needed it in my desperate try to put my heart back together. "You’re never too ugly for me", i said, and put it safe. Than, as i was walking, i found another piece. No one cared about that certain piece of my heart, so now it was just walking around, looking for some attention. "I'll never ignore you", i cried and picked it up, "i'll never act like i don't know you're there". I was happy...i thought that was all i lost, so now i was trying to do the puzzle. But...there still were pieces missing...so i continued my search, hoping i'll get it all back. Than, as i was walking, i saw a boy playing with a piece of my heart. "what are you doing? can't you see i need my heart back? give it back, i need it!". He looked at me and smiled. Than i understood why he was holding it. "good choice" i said to myself. But than i saw how he decided to break my heart even more than it already was. "you're a great girl", he said, "awesome friend, but i never really loved you anyway. Here, take it back, i don't need it anymore. See, i got another one. I found a girl that was willing to give me more". I took it back mad that i didn't know better. "it's ok, next time, i'll be more careful, i won't give you away to anyone. I'll think well before giving you away again", i said while trying to strengthen up my pieces with my tears...So i kept on walking. Than, when i stopped, i saw another piece of my heart. But it wasn't on fire, like when i gave it away. Now it was all burned out..."what happened?', i cried and ran to the place where what used to be my heart on fire was..."who are you? why did you put out the fire?", i asked the ones standing there, glad they did a good deed. "oh, is this yours? we saw it burning, and we were afraid it might spread to the other hearts around here. there's no danger now. see, it's not even warm anymore". I took what used to be my dreams, my hopes, my beliefs..."what will i do now? i'll never have the same passion again!"......and i cried. i stood there and cried. "where can i go? what can i do?"...and while my tears were falling, i noticed something...the road kept on going. This was not the end. " i have to see the end", i said while i got up and wiped away my tears. "there has to be something, someone to help me get my heart back". So i kept on walking. And than..all of the sudden, i saw it....The Book was there...a big, old dusty book... i read it. and, while reading, i heard a voice saying "i see you have a broken heart". "can you help?" i asked, desperate to end the pain. "yes, i can. but i need your trust. i need you to give it all to me, so i can put it all back together." I got sad, "can't you see it's broken? why do you want it now? it's all gone, all its beauty, all its strength...its all gone...no, i won't trust you...look what happened to my heart...i trusted too much, and that's what got it broken in the first place.". Quiet. No answer. Just a hammer and some nails...a cross..."wait...i think i saw you before...you wanted my heart when it was nice. what happened? how come you still want it now? no one wants a broken heart...". I looked at my heart...it was so different from what it used to be..."all in pieces, it will never look the same again...maybe He really wants my heart, no matter the shape. what do i have to lose anyway?", i said to myself..."here, you can have it. i don't care if you can fix it or not. take it. it's all yours. do whatever you want with it. it used to be so good to have it inside of me...it kept me warm, made me feel human. " He took it. It hurt giving it away. So i started to cry. It was hurting me to know that now i have no heart. I wished i could've start it all all over again...i wanted a second chance..."can you fix it?" i found myself asking. "yes". "but how? i tried to put it back together using my tears, but they weren't good enough. do you have some sort of special glue i should know about?"...no answer...just the nails and the hammer..."Here, it's ready. You can have it back." "Back? But i gave it to you! I only wanted to fix it. See, it's good as new". I looked at it. The glue...it was something new, something i've never seen before..."wait", i said while giving Him back my new heart, "i want you to have it. If you can fix it, i'm sure you can use it better than i did. But...can i stick around and see how You will use it?". I saw His hands while He reached out for my heart...they still had the sign of the nails..."Ask and you shall receive", He said, and we started to walk together, on a new road, with a new heart...

Mami's coming!!!

  On Friday I found out that my mother and a family of 4 friends of mine from Romania will come and spend Thanksgiving week here. Today I spent about 4 hours on Skype with my mother trying to figure out all the details -- renting a beach house for them, what airport to fly in, what to do once they get here, and other things like that. I managed to find a beach house that is beautiful, and I made reservations for them. Its actually cheaper to rent a house than to stay at the hotel. I guess for once living by the ocean pays off. We do not like the beach very much -- we only went two or three times this summer, and it is just 30 minutes away-- mostly because of all the damage the sun can make in a day at the beach. Plus, I don't like the fact that there are so many almost naked people there! All that skin makes me a little uncomfortable. Besides, sharks live in the ocean. A girl got bit by a shark on a beach about an hour away from here, so it only gives me one more reason to stay away from the beach and the water. 

    Anyway, back to my friends and mom coming over! I am soooooo very excited!!  Last time I saw my mother it was a week after Seth and I got married, which is 8 months ago! Our friends, who were also at the wedding, decided to come over for the Black Friday sales, and to bring my mother over with them! It was such a blessed thing to do! Mami and I didn't hope to see each other for another year or two, since I am still waiting for my paperwork from Immigrations to come, and since we're not sure when we will afford to make a trip to Romania. But now she is coming, and even though it is only for a week, we will just stay hugged the entire time!!! 

     My mother is the best. After my dad died 4 years ago, i went from being daddy's little girl, to being a very depressed young woman, to becoming best friends with my mother. And once Seth and I started courting, she was the shoulder to cry on every time my computer broke or the internet was down, or Seth's computer broke, and we were unable to talk. I don't know how well I would've managed the long distance relationship with Seth if it wasn't for mami to be there for me and support me. The best thing of all was that she understood what I was going through. She didn't yell at me or think Im crazy because I woke up at 4 or 5 every morning to be able to talk to Seth for two hours before going to classes all day. Instead, she would wake up to go to work ,and always made time to make me some tea or coffee or breakfast, when I didn't have time to do it myself. She bought me phone cards so I can call Seth when the internet was down, and she never complained  about the phone ringing in the middle of the night, just because Seth wanted to say good night. 

    She was very supportive of our relationship, and it meant the world to me. When Seth came to Romania to visit me and to meet her, she did her best to make sure he had a wonderful time. She cooked, and cleaned and supervised us, and also had her share of fun with us! 

    So now she will be our guest. And I want to make sure she will have a wonderful, amazing , fun week with us. I want this to be filled with good, fun memories. Because we don't know exactly how long it will be until we meet again, so we need to create as many memories as we can, so it will last long. 

    All this talk about my mami made me miss her, and made me miss home. So I will go look for some good plane tickets, just to keep myself from crying. 

    88 days and I get to see MAMI!!!! YAY!! :)

Welcome :)

   Hello World! 

  I finally made it! I gave in and started blogging myself. About what, I am not sure yet. I am sure my random thoughts will make their way out somehow.

   Right now , I am exhausted and yet I cannot sleep just yet. Last night I woke up to find my beloved husband with a fever and a bad cold. The nurse in me immediately came to life, and I gave him Nyquil, made him some tea with lemon and honey, checked his temperature, and made sure he had everything he needed. I tried to put some Vaporub on his chest, but only after he argued with me about how he doesn't like it. After the pills kicked in I stayed awake, just in case he needed me. 

    It felt amazing to be there for him. After two years of long-distance, to finally be able to take care of him when he has a cold is a great blessing for us. 

    Seth went to sleep early, since he has to get up at 5 tomorrow morning, to go to work. Usually its 5:30, but since they're launching 15 planes tomorrow everyone has to be there early. This is the same reason why he had to work on Saturday. But a long-awaited 96 is coming our way next weekend, so he should get plenty of rest than. Also, hopefully, his cold will be gone by than. I am working on it. 

    I will end this here now, Seth's tea is almost ready. But I promise to come back soon.